From “Schottenfreude: German Words for the Human Condition” by Ben Schott.
“Hello, I’m Mark E. Smith, and this is the ‘Mark E. Smith Guide to Writing Guide.’
Day by Day Breakdown.
Day One: Hang around house all day writing bits of useless information on bits of paper.
Day Two: Decide lack of inspiration due to too much isolation and non-fraternization. Go to pub. Have drinks.
Day Three: Get up and go to pub. Hold on in there as style is on its way. Through sheer boredom and drunkenness, talk to people in pub.
Day Four: By now people in the pub should be continually getting on your nerves. Write things about them on backs of beer mats.
Day Five: Go to pub. This is where true penmanship stamina comes into its own as by now guilt, drunkenness, the people in the pub and the fact you’re one of them should combine to enable you to write out of sheer vexation. To write out of sheer vexation.
Day Six: If possible, stay home. And write. If not, go to pub.”
-from Grenwich Sound Radio in 1983